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Theme Park Like A Pro

August 2017

Ah family outings, so full of promise and choruses of "that was the BEST day EVER!" and "I love you so much!"... If this makes you roll your eyes and throw that sippy cup at the wall, read on fellow human. Follow these parent hacks to do theme parks like a boss.

TODDLER LOGIC

Hates water but wants to swim with dolphins? Boom. Aquarium. Wants a drink but not from THAT bottle? Boom. Free cup with meals. Two shows on at the same time? Boom. Planned meeting spot.

You’re a parent, you already know you gotta roll with the punches but planning ahead can help your brain go from Armageddon to whatever the makers of the Teletubbies were on. Most theme parks have a ‘plan your day’ option on their websites that list show times, which activities cost extra and height restrictions for rides, so you can stop the FOMO before it starts.

VIP AND VALET it up!

You packed the bags, you got the fam here, do yourself a favour and opt for a direct transfer from your hotel and express ride tickets for the big kids and uphold the kween' status that you deserve. Believe me when I say, it’s worth it - Ain’t nobody got time for queues and boo hoos.

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN’

Familiar with Miss Six desperate to bring bunny (and dolly and Chase, Rocky, Marshall and the whole Paw Patrol entourage) then throwing the poor stuffed fluffball on the bitumen because you offered her a lollypop?

No matter how small they are, they tend to bring with them a bag filled with more items than Mariah Carey’s green room. Be sure to hit up Guest Services for a pram to cradle your bundle of joy when tired feet get the better of them- if not to carry the nappy bag, yogurt squeezies and change of clothes digging into your shoulder.

UMBRELLA ELLA ELLA

Make like Rhianna and bring an umbrella or hats that can fold down to nothing. It will save you in the entry line and throughout the day so that you don’t melt like the wicked witch of the west in our gorgeous Gold Coast sunshine. Shady chic, so hot right now.

You've Got THIS

While there are the parents that will post perfectly poised pics on insty and boast about the gluten-free gravel they brought to feed the kids (if this is you- I salute you, I’m still learning to keep plants alive) keep in mind that a day at the theme parks is supposed to take you into a new magical world where anything can happen.

You do you better than anyone else in this world. Embrace it, keep the kiddies close and know that you’ve got this. Hell, you’re sure to get a flurry of hugs and excited clenched teeth grins throughout the day, and that’s all you’re really after right? Mic drop.