5 GOLD COAST THEME PARKS

Adulting is hard, you complain about it most days, so don’t pretend you are not itching to ditch the demure ‘I’ll hold the bags, you go along and play,’ persona and strap in for a ride that will make you forget about slow cookers, lunch boxes and picking up your parents’ prescriptions. Theme Parks, my weary friend, are just what you need.  Kids love when Mum and Dad are genuinely stoked to play with them, and at theme parks, you don’t even have to fake it.

WARNER BROS. MOVIE WORLD

Head to Movie World where your eyes will grow as big as saucers. With so much activity as soon as you enter the gate you will want to have already lathered up the kids with sunscreen in the car because there’s no way you’ll get them to focus with Batman and Bugs beckoning them into the land of make believe. Lock in your meet up time to make the Parade at 3.30pm and take on the Superman Escape early to avoid queues (and score an adrenaline hit that is a gazillion times more effective than caffeine). They say to fit your own oxygen mask before assisting others, so we think it’s okay to satisfy your need for speed and jump on your fave ride before the kids. Watching the littlies on a merry-go-round will seem a lot more enticing when you’re catching your breath from just going zero to 100km in two seconds flat.

DREAMWORLD

If the biggest thrill you need today is the excitement of scoring a car park close to the entry, then you’ll feel right at home taking your little angels to ABC KIDS World at Dreamworld. This colourful, larger than life scene from Play School will have you reminiscing about Benita and David making jokes you didn’t understand with an ever-knowing Big Ted. There is a Giggle and Hoot mini Giant Drop, a Bananas in Pyjamas fun maze, a chill out zone to rival red frogs at Schoolies and Wiggles themed rides all in close vicinity to toilets, shade, shopping and an air-conditioned restaurant. Heaven.

SEA WORLD

Edu-tainment at Sea World is a whole other kettle of fish (pun intended). Think less OHS induction, more Healthy Harold. The wonders that await are enough to have you bubbling with excitement before you realise your eyebrows are encroaching on your hairline. Get giddy about touching sea slugs and check out the sting rays in the shallow pools. Book in to play with curious dolphins or prepare to take to the skies in the Sea World helicopter. You’ll be amazed at how long you can stare at a polar bear or stand at the underwater aquarium, then reminisce about it for hours back home. Be sure to grab a seafood buffet lunch at Dockside Tavern or Lakeside Terrace too, because irony.

WET ‘N’ WILD & WHITEWATER WORLD

Water parks bring water perks making summer bearable and winter a fast-paced fun-land with barely any queues and big heated wave pools. Take advantage of WhiteWater World‘s luxury Cabanas for your own private deck chairs; shade; fridge; couch; music; lockers; and even an on-call staff member to tend to your every need. Yas kween, a day out instead of sitting by the resort pool, is not looking so bad. A flurry of extreme slides throughout the parks ensure everyone is focused on holding on for dear life rather than looking for hot bods, so relax and run free as you make your way to Wet’n’Wild‘s aptly named Kamikaze, in your beautiful life-giving cocoon… Go play.